I want to immortalize that night and kiss you in the forehead
Saturday, July 22, 2017
And I can still recall everything. Every details of that night. I was supposed to meet my college friends, but there was an urge for me to get to you. I just got out of the movie house and all I thought of was you. Mind you, the movie was about Japanese history.
I was counting nights before I head back to the island and 21 hours was not enough. I wanted to see you. I wanted to spend more time with you. I want you.
It was past seven when I asked if you are occupied. And bang! Shit, I sounded really old using the word “occupied”. You said you were in your house. I was too shy to ask if I can come and see you. But you offered instantly and I just asked for directions. It was a Friday and being in Manila, traffic is hellish. It was past seven. But again, I really wanted to see you. It took me almost 2 hours to get to your place and I didn’t care. I took a bus. Nervous and excited at the same time. We were both suffering from crisis caused by hormones and I wasn’t sure if it was a good to share the night with you. I arrived around earlier than expected. I walked around the bookstore and told you to find me there. You found me in the local literature section. I turned around and found a glow on your face. I was happy to see you.
We headed out of the bookstore and you pointed out a book and murmured something bout it and I didn’t understand, “Tuwing Ikatlong Sabado”. We weren’t sure what are we going to do that night. We agreed to have a beer first at BF. We headed to the parking lot and you had the same car we used going south the other day. I can still recall how it smelled. And then, you gave me 3 books. And I was so grateful and exaggeratedly thanked you with that awkward face. I just can’t really help but smile. An awkward smile.
Then you showed me around and you told me stories bout massage parlors, hang out places, and restaurants. We had 2 beers, few cigarettes, and most importantly, my ideal nice conversation. From work, to Armi, to arts of whatever, and what should we do for the night convo. And finally, we ended up with movie night at your place. You thought of Mr. Nobody, and I don’t have any clue what is it about. Even though you tried to tell me the name of the lead actor and which movies he starred into, I am not really good at remembering Holywood actors. Sorry for being that lame. I really like watching you drive and everytime you look into to my way and when our eyes meet. I can still see that clear picture of you in my head when you try to pay attention to me even though you need your eyes on the road.
Next thing, we headed to your place. Your folks and brother were awake. I was happy to meet your bestfriend Max, and Poppy the sweet one. Awesome dogs you have there. We watched Mr. Nobody and I rated it 6/10 and you were kinda disappointed on my rating. Sorry. We took the dogs for a quick walk. And yes you are really lazy. We had few puff and we compared the “silent nights” of a city vs the time we had at elbi. We heard the buzz of the air conditioner at your place vs the crickets and frogs at elbi/siargao. We talked bout more movies and ratings. You were surprised when I rated an 8/10 for Captain Fantastic. Then I decided to go home but you offered your place and just go home by 6am.
Since the night wasn’t planned, I was so stupid not to bring any clothes nor toothbrush with me. You gave me one and we headed to your bedroom with your dogs. Your room says so much about you. I smiled when I saw your book collection, pictures on your mirror, the dreamcatcher on your bed, and posters of You clearly stated you wanted your personal space and even drew an imaginary line between us. I respected that. But I really wanted to hug you that night and even kiss you in the forehead. We were still recalling movies which deserve a 10/10 rating. Til we decided to sleep. We woke up early. You dressed up and when we went down, you introduced me to your parents as someone from Mindanao. I gave them my warm smile. We headed to your car, I really wanted to spend more time with you and you have work. I got to meet Guia and Jam that day. Again, the part where I had to say goodbye and hoping for another “see you again”.
Again, I wanted to give you a hug and a kiss in the forehead. But that night, when you drew that imaginary line, I knew that I cannot cross that line.
And if only I could go back to the that night, I’ll hug you and give you a kiss in the forehead.
But all I can do is to write these small details and immortalize our time together using these words.