“Heto ako, dahil sayo’y gulong gulo”
I am a massive listener of up dharma down. Their song anino best defines the current state of my emotion.
I was ready to move on and almost accepted the fact that what I’ve encountered with a colleague of mine is already a failed relationship. I’ve spent months trying to forget what I felt and ignoring any topic related to that guy. I’ve let go of the thought that what we had may lead to something special. It was difficult and after weeks of whining about you made those feelings disappear. It felt good! We did not have any closure, but I had to end whatever feelings I may have for you. In the first place, you are already committed to someone else. However, with JUST ONE message, a those hidden feelings came back in a flash. How unfair it is. I’ve spent months to accept the fact that we cannot be together, and with just a matter of minute, I am back to zero on learning the art of deadma.
Truth is, I cannot seem to ignore you. I have answered all your inquiries even the stupid ones. I was thinking you are just trying to find a way to have a conversation with me. How insensitive you are. I was hoping that after months of ignoring you, you’ll get the message that I am trying to forget you. Gahhh… I feel so weak and vulnerable 😦
I am not sure how to react when I see you again. Please bear with me and please, be brave enough to settle the unresolve issues we had in the past.